Today is the kind of day that makes you want to crawl under a rock, but there are none available. Besides, no rock-hiding helps you crawl out of your own head, which is what you really want to do.

I woke up at 2 in the afternoon, because I’d stayed up so late. Not doing anything useful, mind you, playing a computer game. A game which I would be sorely tempted to return to if the internet weren’t down. The internet went down just as I realised I’d been charged for a service I didn’t receive, and may not be able to get my money back. So, not only am I down $12, but I still have to organise the service.

Add to this that today was supposed to be my grand return to work after two weeks of guilty slacking, and you begin to see why my stomach is in a bit of a knot, and I’d quite like to crawl out of my own head. All this is of course leading to a wonderful indeciveness – should I go finish my Christmas shopping? should I try to get some work done? – which is, in turn, feeding my lovely stomach knot.

I’m also a bit nervous about going home. I’m excited, very much so, but I have these niggling worries. Am I going to spend the whole three weeks running around trying to see as many people as possible, never spending enough time with anyone, and come back to India with a feeling that I didn’t see everyone? Am I going to bore myself, telling the same story 15 times until I don’t really want to talk to the 16th person at all? Will I freak out from reverse culture shock? Who will do my laundry? Okay, scratch that last one.

I think the chances of me getting any work done in this mood are slim. Perhaps some retail therapy will cheer me up. And having the Christmas shopping done will allow me to check one more thing off my todo list. That always relaxes me, in an OCD kind of way.

Tg – flicking that light switch on and off for your sake.