Time for some Chinese lessons I think. Repeat after me: “I find that Tibetans like worshipping heroes.”

Sometimes Ireland is high-larious. It took me half an hour of wandering to find the way out of Blanchardstown last night. I still have “the Hotel California” going around in my head, and not because Blanch is such a lovely place. I then naively followed the signs for the N11 — ‘cos I know you have to cross the canal to get to it — which led me deep into the depths of the Docklands. Cheerful, at 11:30 pm. I finally made it home, you’ll be happy to hear.

I woke up to find two pieces of post for C’s parents in our letterbox. “Something has gone very wrong”, I thought. We opened them to find Drug Payment Scheme cards in the parents-in-law’s names, with their PPS numbers. I did send in an application form for the cards, but I’m pretty certain I put my own name on it. When I called the relevant health board, they assumed I (or the p-i-l’s) had done something wrong to cause it.

Lady – “Oh, your husband’s parents must have sent it with the wrong address”
Me – “But they didn’t send in a form, I did”
Lady – “Did you put your own PPS number on it”
Me (making a face) – “Yes, I put all the correct details on it”
Lady – “Well they must have done something wrong in the Skerries office”
Me – “But we didn’t send the form to Skerries, we sent it to you”
Lady – “Well your husband’s address in his PPS record is the Skerries one”
Me – “He grew up there!”
Lady – “Well I don’t have a record of your application form, and I keep up to date on all new applications”
Me – (internally) “You’re obviously quite incompetent then.” (out loud) “The only reason these cards would have been sent out is because of the form I sent in”
(and so on)

Eventually they fixed the p-i-l’s record, and added ours from what I gave over the phone. No doubt we’ll get cards in a couple of weeks for “Fozzy bear” and “Animal” surname “Muppet”.

Fozzy bear